Should you backtrack on a blog?

Well it's been a while since I sat down and decided to write anything, which is a shame because I kinda like it. Many things have happened since South America,not having jobs, nearly being homeless, finding houses, finding jobs, not having jobs again and just generally getting on with life I suppose, oh and getting married and now a week away from our first anniversary (a year that has been amazing, our life together fuckin rocks! - in a comfy sofa watching movies and drinking wine together kinda way, not like rock n roll lifestyle, but I've never been happier).

But as the title of this post states, should you backtrack? I know blogs are all about the today, whats past is past so why linger? Things are happening now, and now and now...

Well I for one am a fan of backtracking, the fond reminisce, the thoughtful ponder on times gone by. This blog is destined to be put into one of those fancy little printed books for us to keep and read on cold nights when we're all old n shit so it needs to be completed I think. Doubtless the roller coaster of emotions that are ever present when travelling have been numbed but they haven't been forgotten. It might just take a bit more effort for me to remember them all. Actually I can barely remember what I did last week so trying to write about things that happened 3 years ago now is going to be pretty tough.

So have I answered my own question? have I decided that it'll be just too hard to reminisce in blog form and therefore I won't bother? have I done a complete 180 and concluded I can't be arsed?

I don't know really, I think I'll have to think about it some more, real life is calling (well the playstation or the pub to be honest but that's as real as I like my life thank you very much) .

Hopefully it'll be sooner than another 3 years.

Stu

Machu Picchu - Because 2 posts aren't enough

So as Stu says yeah I had a feeling that this would be the place (7 bloody countries) I think I had waited my time very well. Before we came away a friend of a friend had a very impromptu wedding where she invited people 2 weeks before and had a great little wedding. I thought this was an amazing idea and was considering the pros and con's of getting married before we came away. I spoke to Stu about this and he said that it would be lovely to have this trip as our honeymoon but wouldn't it be better to be able to say that we got engaged in some far flung beauty spot not Staly Vegas?!!!!!

Point taken, I also discussed this with my mum (who had to go and make her already pristine bed so she could steady her nerves) and my older sister Ali who gave me the very good advice that all a boy really has to do for a wedding is the proposal and if Stu wanted it to be somewhere different I shouldn't take that away from him. (Great advice sis).
So I dropped the idea of going on an 18 month honeymoon and just went on a great holiday.

While we were in Antic I happened to stumble into the many jewellery shops 'just to look'. One of them had the perfect ring unfortunately it was being sold as the wedding ring with an absolutely hideous engagement ring. It was taking away a little of the surprise element but Stu thought it much better to be able to present a ring that not only fitted but one I would like too. So we spoke with the girl and just bought the one. So that was Guatemala, CENTRAL AMERICA. I knew it was there, I knew where it was but I had to forget it. Easier said then done.

Fast forward to Machu Picchu, we went the wrong way, I was happy to keep going and look at the site from the other side and you know just look around but Stu was adamant we had to go back and up to the top straight away. Not old did he know he was asking at Machu Picchu but he knew exactly where abouts too. So back we went to the Gate House unfortunately by the time we had gone and come back there were a few people there so further up we went. I was knackered and probably protesting just a little at the extra height, but up we went.

We took our obligatory photos with Stu standing behind me. He spoke about how it had taken us a while to get here but we made it in the end and that while we were here he wanted to ask me something. Cue the butterflies, and the nerves, I turned around Stu was on his knee with a ring box in his hand. Yes there was 3 pleases as every girl should have and yes there was a "Yeah Ok", and yes there was a boob hug and yes there were tears. So there are your 3 yes' to the 3 pleases.

We stood there for a while beaming, yes it was better than Stalybridge, no it wasn't in a posh restaurant with nice clothes on, (I was in short trousers socks and hiking boots!!! not very me) but it was perfect and very us. I did have to scrape the chipped red nail varnish off so I could take photos of my hand and show it off without the classy nails.

The rest of the day was in a bit of a bubble, we petted llamas, of which Stu took 54 photos of (I think he may have had a thing for them). We decided that we had to celebrate. Down to the cafe just outside the site, I decided that if they had champagnes that we would partake, even if we don't really like it but it situations like this one must sacrifice!!!!! They did and I had a small bottle which I saved and will be placed on a shelf in every home that we live in. Stu had a beer. It was about 9am but we had been up since 4.15am so it was aloud.

When we came back to Aguas Caliante I rang my mum, who was being allusive and unreachable. Sometimes she can't hear her phone and she doesn't answer calls from private numbers so i sent a text message saying that i had some good news and that she had to answer.
I rang again and Grace (little sister, I say little she is about a foot taller than me and going to be 20 soon but she will always be my little sister) answered asking what my good news was. I asked here why she was reading mums text messages and that I couldn't tell her till I told mum. She pushed and I told her, at which point she screamed for
 Mum, who may have been up straightening imagined wrinkles from her bed.

When I told mum that we had gotten engaged she told me that she had been watching Momma Mia all day and crying and that she knew that something was going on. Mothers intuition eh? She asked to speak to her future Son-in-Law, who when he came on the phone after the obligatory "yes I will take care of your daughter" told her that my family was mad but that it was ok that so was his!!! (Before he took the phone from me he asked if she could just email him!!!)

We stayed in our little bubble for the rest of the day wondering round. We met people that we had been hanging round with in Cusco who asked how the day was going, I answered
"oh yea ok, just got engaged". There were a few girlie squeals (exactly what you need when you are newly engaged and away from your real friends) and Stu thrusting forward my hand to show people.

So I am now an engaged lady, I changed my relationship status on facebook, told all the friends, and we called each other fiancee. No longer can Stu say "wait till you are asked" when I discuss our wedding, and when I go home I will be aloud to not only touch but try on the dresses in Ali's wedding dress shop. Wooo hooo.

Machu Picchu - Because 1 post isn't enough

So we were here at last Machu picchu.

Not only was this pretty much the only place I had even heard of in South America I had known for a long time this was where I was going to ask Gini to marry me.

I let the cat out of the bag to a couple of friends, others I stated I was waiting for the most appropriate mountain, lets face it they don't really get much better ( without actually climbing a mountain, which was soooo out of the question!)

I knew she was going to say yes. She knew I was going to ask her (she's not stupid and knew I had been carrying a ring around for 7 countries!)

But I was kind of excited, butterflies n stuff, brickin it a bit.

We had to get up at 4.15am in order to take the first bus up the mountain.

Without re-reading many posts that I've put on here I can't remember if I've said much about the route to Machu Picchu.

Let me digress a little as some people may not be aware that there is an alternative to the "Inca Trail"

The "Inca Trail" is a 4 day trek from Cuzco to Machu Picchu, it stops at some nice places, there is camping and staying in lodges but there's nothing you can do to change the fact it's a 4 day walk.

It's been the cause of some contention between a drunken me and many other travellers - namely the pretentious fecks with think, "you know, Oh My GOD the Inca Trail is the ONLY legitimate way to see Machu Picchu! You just HAVE to do it!"

Now when I say the cause of contention what I mean is I drunkenly and quite accidental called a couple of Irish girls pretentious twats to their face when they voiced their pretentious views of the Inca Trail and what they thought of anyone who chose an alternative route. I was going to apologise the next day but they had left the hostel.

One alternative to the trail is to take the train to a town called Aguas Caliante (Hot Water?) and then a minibus the next day up to the entrance of MP. Seriously, how is that even a choice? Although the train is quite expensive at $31 dollars each way (like 20quid) and some tight arsed backpackers - of which I am actually one but not to this extent- choose to take a 3rd option. Rather than go on a tour/trek OR take the train they will take a bus that they have to get off in the middle of the night, like 2am, then walk 2 hours over fields. Cross a river near a power station, walk another 3 hours or so ac cross fields n stuff, climb over a landslide and then if they are lucky they get to the town, if not they are lost and die in a field. (no I don't think anyone has been reported as dieing in a field, I made that up. But who would report em...)

Anyway I will fuckin lay my life down now and guarantee that if the Inca's had invented trains and minibuses do you think theres any chance in hell that they would be walking for 4 days to get to what is essentially a bit of a town on a hill!?? (I take that back, it's one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life)

So the plan is, up at 4.15am in order to get the 5.30am minibus, we got their early to make sure we get there! We wanted to be there for sunrise which is supposedly spectacular. I'm a bit gutted really as it was overcast and just got light as we were driving from side to side up the mountain at 5.45 - The place doesn't even open till 6am!

When we did arrive I took exceptionally smug pleasure in seeing the hikers and walkers, just after they had climbed several hundred steps over the course of the last couple of hours to get the the gate to Machu Picchu - Not a single one of them had a breath in their bodies, copious amounts of sweat dripping from the wheezing puffing heads of the fit and healthy, yes it was a well spent 3pounds 50 to take the minibus!!!

I can't really put into words how spectacular it was once we were there. I just wanted to get to the bit where the postcards are taken from and pop the question but we ended up going the wrong way first and found ourselves amidst loads of folks heading at a hefty pace to the ticket office at the other side of the ruins. The reason that most people go this early is so they can be one of the chosen few, there are 400 tickets a day for people to be able to climb up Wanapicchu. This is the mountain in the background that you can see in all the photo's of Machu Picchu. Ha, not even crossed my mind, there's a few hundred huge steps to walk up. My justification of not going up there was that we'd be higher yes but also further away from the ruins we came to see so surely it would be better to be lower down and closer for a better look? I actually didn't come up with this till after we left but I think it can hold quite well up to argument!

Also can you imagine me on one knee, panting and gasping for breath as I proposed? Gini would just think I was having a seizure or heart attack!!

So we backtracked, we still had to climb a big hill and quite a few steps so it was a while after we got to the top on this side of the ruins ( I had to wait a while to catch my breath before asking). I led Gini by the hand to a more secluded spot over to the right, the breathtaking view behind us, misty clouds swirling around possibly the most fantastic ruins in the world, built in the decade between 1460 and 1470 it really is a sight, you can see very spot I asked in the pictures.

Like I mentioned I had the old butterflies in my stomach, I was nervous despite never being more sure of anything in my life. I think I started by saying something about us being together for a long time and who would have thought we would finally be here, then I drop to one knee and whip the ring out of the pocket it has been hiding in, Gini's face is a picture as I say;

"Gini, will you please, please, please marry me?"

yeah, I think saying please 3 times is actually classed as begging but hey it was a spur of the moment thing (despite I'd been trying to think of the best way to word it all day) and it was still only about 7am, I wasn't taking any chances.

You know what she said?

Now at this juncture I hadn't even considered what her words might be.

You know, following the rest of our relationship - meeting in Australia, a long term telephone relationship, seeing each other for a total of about 12 days over 12 months before she moved to Manchester to be with me and then having a fantastic relationship and all reaching to this pinnacle in time where I am on one knee pretty much asking her to be with me for the rest of her life, she says

"yeah, ok"

Yeah OK???? Well at least it was a yes!

Then she got embarrasses and grabbed my head to her bosom (ha, bosom.. I'm like so too childish to get married!!) in what can only be described as a bear hug. She cried a bit too, score!

In all honesty since I turned 30 I have become an emotional wreck, I seriously thought I'd be the one crying. Gonna be fecked at the actual wedding.....big, gay, man tears!

Then we spent the day walking around taking lots of photo's, strangely enough I think we got more of the Llamas that were wandering around than of the ruins, calling each other fiancee and just being a happy couple who had just got engaged.

It was a good day.

Machu Picchu - How it all started

This whole trip was thought up as an off the cuff remark.
The way I like to do stuff. I didn't know if I was serious at the time or not. When I came home from Australia at the age of 27 I knew I had to get away from England again. I had the travel bug that so many people are affected by. Seeing the world is fantastic and once you realise that there is a hell of a lot more of it than the boundaries of the country you live in, in fact there are many folk out there ( and this is a conversation Gini and I had the other day) who are happy in the country they live. Australians may be the worst for this, they feel theirs is the best country in the world and many don't feel the need to go anywhere else. Now after staying there for a year I can see there point of view to a degree, it is a fuckin gorgeous place, why the hell we decided to send the convicts there I'll never know, surely it would have been better to let the criminals stay in England whilst the rest of us fecked of to sunny climes and fantastic beaches?! Right?
I suppose it doesn't change, scallys and the little shites of today's adolescent criminal underworld get sent off to foreign countries to go canoeing and stuff don't they? Is that the governments attempt at trying to rehabilitate? shit I'm thinking of armed robbery to fund my next trip, even when I get caught I get the holiday! Oh wait, think I'm a bit old for that now, I'd just get Strangeways probably with my luck with a roomy called Janice who looks like a small building.
The point I was getting at about a paragraph ago is that you really need to see the world to appreciate what you have or haven't got. Don't get me wrong I like the fact in England I don't have to chuck toilet paper into a bin after I use it, and if I want a burger in the middle of the night I can probably find somewhere to get it and I only work about 40 or so hours a week (which compared to some places I've been is nowt really) and get paid a healthy amount of cash to live on.
What I don't like is the majority of the rest of the people I have to share the country with. Cunts mostly who will stab you for a cigarette, kick ya to death if you ask them not to climb on your car or beat your brains in if you object to them throwing things at you, your girlfriend, mum or sister. Really, it takes the piss.

Sometimes one needs to utilise fundamental expletives to highlight ones feelings to the highest degree. And I haven't sworn as much as I like to on this blog so have decided to go all out on this bit of the entry!

So yeah, I returned from 7 months in South East Asia and a year in Australia and I knew I had to go again. Like most freshly home travellers the plan was to pay the debt, save some cash and get away as quick as possible. Now I wasn't too naive at this, I thought I could pay off the 2grand debt in like 5 months and then would spend a couple of years saving so I could make it in time to apply for a 12 month New Zealand visa before I hit 30 (the cut off age). This was the big 2 year plan. How could it possibly go wrong?

I'm a bit shit at saving money. It helps when I have a girl to help and encourage me otherwise it tends to go on booze.......I was hoping for a list of stuff but in reality I have no idea where it goes, it just goes. I spend month after month watching my account balance disappear slowly.

4 and a half years. That's how long it took to save enough for another trip. New Zealand was a pipe dream, I had asked one day if Gini wanted to come to South America instead. I know for a fact the only reason I chose it as a destination was because I knew it was another of the cheapest places in the world and had heard some people say they had been, and who doesn't want to check out Brazilian chicks on the beach? (Fact is we are now pretty much at the end of the trip, still catching up on the blog but haven't made it to Brazil anyway, it's irony or something). I don't even remember if Gini had moved in with me yet or not at the time.

"Whats in South America?"
Probably a question I should have asked a little earlier, like before we had decided we would go but hey spontaneity baby!

Funny actually, the original plan was devised as a 3 year expedition! We were to spend a year in Canada with our friend Meg, working in a bar and just hanging out in Vancouver, like good old times in Darwin where we met and worked and lived together. Then would follow 6 to 12 months in South America, finishing off with a flight to China where we would teach little kids English, how to say dog and cat, that type of stuff.

There are a number of reasons why this didn't pan out.
ONE, CANADA - Meg got pregnant a year before we were due to arrive and therefore had a 3 month old baby when we were there. This puts a right kibosh on the planned year of partying with her. We stayed 2 weeks, when the options are 3 month old babies or backpacking around South America there's not much choice.
Don't take that wrong, Meg has a fabulous little girl, Isabella. The 2 weeks there actually gave me an invaluably insight to babies as it was pretty much 24/7. I don't want my own just yet but I loved that 2 weeks to bits and fell in love with little Bella.  I think Meg really appreciated the help too, so it was good all round. Got hell drunk when the kid was in bed each night though.

TWO, CHINA - Gini was listening to some news or other that was saying something about the Internet being blocked or something because of the communists. Also we had heard lots of stuff about the thousands of unwanted babies pretty much just littering the streets. The whole place sounds pretty sketchy and we decided we didn't want to contribute to their communist ways (or not be able to facebook when we want!) - The decision was made to teach in Chile instead, still 12 months so the trip would be 18 months now, no worries.

THREE, BEING SKINT - So working as a teacher in Chile or pretty much anywhere in South America means that you earn just enough money to get by with nothing left over. Well we came to the realisation, I don't know if it was Gini or me, that living somewhere with no money would be a bit crap, we wouldn't be able to afford to see anything or do anything. And we would have to be working all the time. Well we may as well just go home when the money runs out and get real jobs again that pay a decent wage, right?

Also the flight from Canada to South America went through Mexico and I wanted to eat hot Mexican chilli in Mexico.
That's how the 3 year trip to 3 continents became a 7 month jaunt through Central and South America, because if we were going to Mexico we may as well go overland to South America!

I think I started this post out trying to make you understand the significance of Machu Picchu in this trip. I realise I haven't done that yet and have banged on about lots of other stuff instead but you know in a roundabout way it all gets back on track in the end.

"Whats in South America?" I asked myself. And I swear until even after we were well half way through Central America the only answer I had come up with was "Machu Picchu"

Altitude

It fuckin sucks ass.

Seriously, Cuzco was the first time I had experienced altitude and the effects it has on the human body. Now as you all know I don´t claim to be a healthy individual, in fact if you´ve read the other posts I´ve written you know I´m a bit of a lazy shite. So imagine my chagrin when I found that in Cuzco, what with it being about 3500 meters above sea level I managed to get out of breath whilst doing feck all. Seriously I lost my breath when lying in bed sometimes (and not when I participating in nocturnal fun stuff either). Everyone is in the same boat so it´s not really anything to do with my health or lack thereof, the air is just really thin. It did mean that I hated steps with a passion. Not helped in any way by the fact the loki Hostel we were staying in was 116 steps up from the town centre (I have numbers OCD, I count all sorts of weird shit - my old house was 198 steps from the shop and it took 8 minutes to drive from there to my brothers house, just strange.)

Cuzco is probably the most touristy town we have visited, everyone who wants to visit Macchu Pichu comes through here, so it´s not just decked out for the backpacker trail like most places, there are loads of "tourists" around, Americans wearing hiking boots and vest jackets with loads of pockets, that type of stuff.

There are a couple of good night spots though, Paddy Oflatterhys is an Irish bar we frequented on a nightly basis followed by Mama Africa´s, a dingy nightclub full of Peruvian slappers. The former was just full of coke fiends and dirty locals...we went a couple of times.

So the time has come, off to the king of ruins, just a taxi and a train ride away is Macchu Pichu!

Sand Boarding

Photobucket Album

Sand Boarding in Ica

So as Stu said there was not much done in Lima, drinking and movies. So the day came to leave we had a plan to go to Pisco, Ica and Nazca but the funds were running low and we decided to go straight to Cuzco. Then we changed our minds again and decided to go straight to Ica for some sand boarding. Well we really went to a town just outside called Huacachina. The bus there was amazing it was the president class with fully reclining lazy boy seats. It was like an 80's rock band's touring bus.

So after the bus you have to get a taxi to Huacachina, like on most South American roads that we have travelled on there were road works, the road was basically gravel, very bumpy. The health and Safety here is brilliant it seems like the only thing they have to do is tell you where the emergency exit is. Even in open fronted restaurants where the Exit is obviously the big gaping hole in the front of the building they still have an emergency exit sign. But here in Huacachina instead of the nice yellow flashing lights that we have at road works, they had paint cans with oil in them on fire! very safe!!!

Huacachina is a very pretty town surrounded on all sides by huge sand dunes it actually is an oasis which I found truly amazing, we have been so lucky to get to see so many different things, places and to meet so many lovely people on this trip. We wandered round, bought some jewellery and drank pisco sours. The reason for coming to  Huacachina was the sand boarding. We had been told that the boarding was good but the dune buggy ride was great. So the next day off we climbed into the buggy strapped ourselves in and just as we were pulling out 2 girls walked passed and shouted that our driver was the best one so that was sounding hopeful.

So off we go 5 of us in this big buggy Stu was a bit disappointed that we didn't have a smaller one cause he thought the big one wouldn't be as fast or get air (how wrong he was). We started by mounting the sand dunes just at the edge of the lake at tremendous speed. So our guide takes us hairing round the sand dunes at break neck speed. He did hand break turns (which I didn't think you could do on sand). For half the time he wasn't looking forwards he was just looking for the next sand dune to hurtle us down. Then it came time to get out and do some boarding, we were given our boards and some candles to wax them with and told that on this first one we should go down on our tummies. So what you have to do is lie on your board then the guide stands in front of you and pushes down the through his legs. It is not the most graceful of poses. Stu kept putting his legs up before the guy pushed him down, not very good for to poor guy and his chances of child making.

This went on for a while driving round scaring the crap out of me and the girl behind me. I was like being on a roller coaster. The thing is that there is no perspective when you are on the sand you don't know if the next hill is flat or has a vertical drop behind it. It is very nerve wracking but strangely I loved it. I have always had a fear of being in a car crash or the car that I was in rolling and have always had to be dragged onto roller coasters, but I think now it has been cured somewhat. There were a few squeals and pleading with him not to go over the next hill.

As we went on the dunes that we boarded down get bigger and bigger and the amount of wax that was put on the board got more and more. I tried to stand up but kept falling on my bum, and any ways it was much more fun hurtling down head first. Our guide brought us the the last one it was very big and everyone was a bit weary of it. The guy told us that he would drive to the bottom of the next one that we should go down one, climb up the next hill and meet him at the bottom. The second dune didn't look that big and we were a bit disappointed that our last dune was going to be a small one. So down the first and climbed up the last one. It is so hard to walk up the sand with a board and the scorching sun belting down on you. Up we went to be met by a shear vertical drop that was bigger than anything I have ever seen and we were to throw ourselves down it. Oh god!!!! Down we went after a bit of trepidation from me but it was so fun. We have said that it is the most fun that we have had on our trip so far and have been telling everyone to go. It was brill.

We went back to the hostel to have the all you can eat BBQ, when I say all you can eat it was really meant that they would cook a load of food and you could eat till it ran out. Stu thought the best thing to do was to have a swim to get all the sand off then he thought I should too and he walked into the pool with me in his arms fully clothed, Jesus it was cold! I was tipping sand out of my pockets for days after that. So there is not much more to do in Ica so it was time for a bus again to Cuzco and Machu Picchup, the place where all the planning started, where we were to be for our 30th and 25th only almost 2 years late ah well!!!!

A tangent into the present

So, as you may be aware we are slightly behind in this blog, I sit here trying to remember what happened in Peru when in fact I am sat in the bar in La Paz, Bolivia. I just thought I'd take the opportunity to tell you about the fact we had a party last night. We are both working in the hostel bar at Loki La Paz, our days are filled with work or sleep and the nights with booze and work sometimes. Booze is a constant, it is impossible to work behind the bar without getting pissed!
So last night was a fancy dress party, the pictures will follow. There was dancing on the bar till the early hours and I drew the short straw and had to work this morning at 8am! It sucks but someone has to do it right?
The night was full of drinking and debauchery, one girl fell off the bar and cracked her head off a light fitting and then into an amplifier, there was blood and tears, quite a commotion was made, I could barely stop myself from laughing, I find that shit funny!! ! She didn't see the funny side though and someone thought she might have concussion so said she should be kept awake for 2 hours else she may fall into a coma!? I don't know if thetas true or not but wasn't happy they had decided she should sleep in the staff dorm and in my bed no less! Now don't get me wrong, really drunken girls falling off bars is funny to me but when aforementioned drunken girl is now in my bed with the possibility of falling into a coma the humour just drains away! more so when I have to be up in 4 hours to start work! She didn't fall into a coma and just fell asleep, the regular none coma type.
I don't know how true the whole concussion coma thing is, she did give her head a good whack though, theres even a massive dent in the amp now!

To get to the point though the reason I have taken this tangent to the present was just to let you know I have had maybe 3 hours sleep and am now sat behind the bar taking breakfast orders and I needed something to do to keep from falling asleep!
If I have a drink now it may mean I have an alcohol problem......
but it would be rude not too.

Huanchaca to Lima - Our first taste of Loki

From Porto Lopez we continued our journey south, there were a couple of buses involved, a stop over in Guayaquil which was so insignificant it doesn´t get a blog entry, just 1 night in a cheap hotel and we spent most time watching TV. Sometimes TV is a godsend and others a curse, I can happily take it or leave it, I much prefer to sit and watch movies, I don't like having to flick through channels to find something watchable and then Haven to do it again every 30 minutes when the show finishes! Gini on the other hand would I think be happy to stay anywhere if there were a TV in the room where she can get her fix of trashy TV and bad sitcoms.

Now we have heard from a few people, actually most if not all people, that the border crossing from Ecuador to Peru is notoriously bad, in that there is about a quarter mile between the 2 immigration offices that has a market there and if you travel by night there is a very high chance you will be mugged. One guy told us he was with a guide who picked up their bags and started running as fast as he could to avoid the would be assailants. Once he was safely past the dodgy market he drew a finger across his throat to indicate that without him something bad would have happened!

And poor Beth, an English girl we travelled with for a couple of weeks had an episode where someone grabbed her rucksack and tried to wrestle it away from her. Now most rucksacks are between 13 and 20kg, not the easiest target for a bag snatch! Anyway the thief was unsuccessful and left Beth lying on the floor complete with her rucksack, like a turtle on its back. It has also been known for people to get into your taxi and demand you go to cash machines to withdraw money for them. You´d think border crossings would be safe what with armed guards at either side but hey, this is South America baby!

The funny thing is theres another border crossing about 100km away which is scenic and pleasant according to reports and The Book. Don´t get me wrong I´m all for adrenalin rushes and trying new things but I don´t see the point in putting us in any unnecessary danger, it´s pointless when for another hour or two on a bus you can be safe as Larry, whoever he is.

We went the slightly longer way. Our border crossing was at night but there isn´t a gap between the 2 sides, just different offices on either side of the road. This was a really good thing as we had taken some sleeping tablets about an hour before we got there, actually they may have been tranquilisers, not sure. The result was that we were slightly less than compos mentis when we had to get our passports signed. That's Latin you know, it means "in Control".

All was good and we arrived in Huanchaca at about midday. Gini describes Huanchaca as Blackpool beach without the lights. It´s a place for surfers to go, the beach isn´t great but the waves are. This was another place we didn´t learn to surf in, the water looked cold.

We spent a couple of days wandering the streets, looking at tat and eating in different places, it was quite sad really, there are lots of restaurants and stalls but the place was quite deserted and people resorted to almost begging to to eat in their place. The fella at a surf lesson place kept offering me weed every time I passed, like 3 or 4 times a day!

Lima, the capital city of Peru and the home of the first Loki hostel. Any place that we visit can be judged on how good the hostel is, it doesn't matter if a place is shit, if it has a good hostel then it will make all the difference and we will stay for a few extra days. Sometimes we can be at a hostel and not even venture outside for days on end!
We had heard Loki was a good hostel and we weren't disappointed, with table tennis (which I love) a pool table and big movie room, we were happy bunnies!
Not really a great deal to report about Lima, didn't get out much, watched a lot of movies and veg'ed around a lot. We did go on the piss with some Americans to a club, drinking something called Pisco Sour, a cocktail made from Pisco, egg white n some other stuff, if it's mixed right it's ok, if it's not it's really bad! These were ok, we drank, danced and generally had a good time and got plastered.

Puerto Lopez - Whale fish, Whale fish

Happy, happy, joy, joy more buses - Not sure if we have mentioned about the buses and driving skills of the average Central/South American?they are just crap. There is no regard for safety at all. most buses have a wall and door between you and the driver so you can´t see out of the window which is a good thing. Overtaking on blind corners is a national pastime and not just one car at a time. So our time had come to take our lives in our hands once again and take the 6 hour journey to Puerto Lopez which in fact took 8 hours and 4 buses, each dodgier than the last as the buses deteriorated so did the roads. At one point our 3 ´drivers´were discussing which side of the road to drive on to avoid the crater sized potholes in the road in pitch darkness. Now this was bad enough, our tolerance was strained to say the least but add to it that the seats were designed for midgets with no legs and a curved spine and that the guy behind me decided to shout Hi at the top of his voice every time we went over a bump (and we went over may bumps). His theory was that when a Karate dude falls on the floor he says Hi to lessen the blow. I am not sure if he was just socially retarded or just plane retarded cause he at one stage started shouting ´what is happening´to his friend when we stopped to let some people out. Oh god how I hate other people sometimes!!!

Off the bus we get and trudge down the length of the town to a hostel that was recommended by the guys in Canoa, we should of know that the place would be a little run down as the stoners had said that it was great cause the owners son was running the place and just got stoned all the time. It turns out that the the local drug dealer lived just outside the hostel on the beach in a tent.

But we were here for one reason on one reason only Humpback Whales. We had arrived just towards the end of the mating/migrating season when the Whales swim up the coast of South America and just kinda hang out around Puerto Lopez. During this time you are basically guaranteed to see at least one. We were told by a girl studying them that the best group to find is either a mother and calf as the calf is very excitable and they jump a lot or a female with 2 male admirers as they are trying to show off to get the girl.

We booked a trip with the girl in the hostel and the next day we were up bright and early to go out on the boat. We stood on the beach while we watched all the other boats get full and leave and there was no sign of ours. Great the one thing I really wanted to do and it wasn´t going to plan. Finally our boat, captain and the rest of our tour turned up. We headed straight for the front of the boat sure we would get wet but we would have a great 360 view.

I was a little nervous as I had heard stories about whales coming up really close to the boat, while that would be really cool I think I would poo my pants if this happened. ------->

We travelled out for what seemed like ages crashing over waves and getting drenched but then we stopped and waited. It was very surreal ,very quite and everyone was holding their breath, and then I saw the first whale of the day. I pointed, shouted and squealed like a little girl. I was so excited, we had come across a little family, a mother, calf and another female travelling together. There was alot of breaching the water with either their heads, backs, tails or fins and blowing water. Then we were treated to the most amazing sight, a full out of the water, up in the air back flip. It was amazing, I have never experienced a group of about 20 grown ups audibly sighing in unison before. We were treated to about 3 more hours of searching the horizon spotting then and going in for a closer look. It was great just as we were about to head off we had one more massive back flip just at the place I was looking, now that was really cool. The hard thing about it was that there was just so much water to look at and you didn´t want to miss anything so you are flipping your head back and forth seeing what the other boat were looking at.
There is not really more I can say about it without repeating myself although I will just state how amazing it was these are not the most beautiful creatures in the world but you just felt like you were seeing something wonderful every time even just their backs breached the water. I have always been fascinated with Whales and dolphins and I have seen them both on this trip in spectacular form. I have definitely seen my something majestic.

Baños & Canoa - The lost week

Oh god we are so behind on this thing it is not even funny. I am sitting here trying to remember where we went and what we did. The answer springs to mind Canoa and not very much at all.

But before that we went to Baños, a place that is named after toilet. Honestly if my town was called toilet I think I would petition the council to change the name.

Saying that it is a really nice place, we felt really safe (coming from Quito), you could walk round at night. There is a really big volcano there that has been on the verge of erupting for years, supposedly most insurance companies will not cover you in baños in case it goes. Most nights there is a real spectacular lava show. We went for 2 days one night. It was really nice being out of Quito and being able to go outside after dark. We had a fantastic steak dinner wandered round the town for a while then headed back to our hostel.

We had decided to escape dorm life for a night. Dorms are great if you like being woken up at all hours seeing ugly people in various states of undress, dealing with smelly bodily functions (but in all honestly I think most of them come from Stu, some thing may have died in his shoes), the bain of dorm rooms plastic bags, people who just can´t whisper and speak at full voice all the time and snoring. We have been quite lucky that we have only had 2 snorers on this trip but boy were they bad. The first was in Mexico, this guy slept all day so you couldn´t go into the room to do stuff and snored all night so you couldn´t sleep. The second was in Lima, it was the weirdest snoring I have ever heard it was like he was blowing raspberries and then he would sigh to get the last of his breath out, it was great. I shook his bed, thought about throwing things at him and shone my torch in his eyes when I was searching for my ear plugs (if you are coming to South America bring some with you cause weirdly they don´t sell them here). So double room with en suite here we come.

On our second day we decided to go quad biking. I was a little nervous having never done anything like it before and Stu didn´t help, I think he was more nervous that me about me driving. So we hired one and headed out of Baños and off the the waterfalls. Being the boy Stu insisted on driving (I didn´t really mind that much on the main roads the drivers over here are just so bad) but as we got out of the town I had to bully my way in the the drivers spot. I was doing really well, the views were really great (only some times did I move the quad when I moved my head!!) At some of the waterfalls there were cable cars that you could travel across the gorge in. These look about as safe as a garden gate so they were off the agenda. Then we came up to a bridge where everyone throws themselves off, it is like a big swing. Stu was contemplating it but he chose not to go for it; I of course didn´t even contemplate it and didn´t like even standing on the bridge.

Then it was time to head back I hopped on the front and began the drive home. Before we left the hire place the guy showed us a map and told us that we were not aloud to go through the tunnels (or at least we thought that was he said) it turned out that they had a one way system where you went up on the side of a cliff and back through a dark long tunnel. I was happily whizzing down the side road until I had to merge into a main-ish road with other traffic. That done I was very proud of my self, then there came the tunnel. Fear started to set in, I was thinking of going down the up road but if we met a car coming in the other direction one or other of us would have gone over the cliff. Not good. Through the tunnel we go. Lights on (or so we thought, the switch was on but no joy!) and in to the long dark tunnel with no overhead lighting. Fear turns to panic we are in the dark scrambling for the lights, can´t see anything in front or behind except blackness and then we hit the wall! Oh Shit on most roads there is a gully beside the road for drainage and yes were were in it. Panic turns to shear panic - we get off the quad and we had to try to bump it out of the drain while cars are coming behind us. I frantically start waving them down (a la The Railway Children but not with my red knickers) so they don´t plow into us. We got the quad out and then I lost my flip flop not the best time to be scrambling on the ground for stuff. Jump back on the bike and I relinquished my driving seat and we head for home, the only injury was Stu had a cut on his finger which bled all the way home and I scratched my leg.

Again before we left the hire place the guy asked us to look at the quad to see that there was no scratches or dents or anything and told us that a faring would cost $60 if we did anything to it. As we are driving home in the rain we are trying to see how we will get away with the big scratches on the faring and on the handle bars and hope he doesn´t see the big scratch on my leg. We get back to town and thankfully the guy we hired it off was underneath another quad doing some repairs. We handed the keys back the the woman behind the desk got our passports and ran. Then it was tme to leave Baños to go the Canoa and meet back up with the guys from Quito.

We took a bus from Baños to Quito, sat round in the bus station being bothered by a drunk guy harmless really but by the 40th time he told us that his "English is little" it became a bit boring. In retrospect I think when Stu told him to "Vamos" it confused him, he wasn´t conjugating properly and was saying "lets go"instead of "you go" ie. sod off (which would have been "vas"). Then an overnight bus to Canoa, the guys had given us the name of the hostel that they had stayed in before and we headed there. Unfortunately Alex had failed to mention that they were having drainage problems and that the place had a powerful smell of shit about it. But they did have Eggs Benedict so it kinda evened out. As we arrived the guys were just about to head out on a whale watching tour, one of the main reasons that we came to Canoa, they had dragged themselves out of bed at the ungodly hours of 9.30am to be told that all the whales were gone and the tours were not being run anymore. Maybe a little note on the door of their room would have been nice as they had organised it with the girl on reception the night before but hey that's Ecuador.

We soon found out that there was not much to do in Canoa but be there so we strung up our hammocks and swung to the sound of the waves. The beach was right across the way but it was cold and we were being wimps so no swimming was to be had. The main pastimes in Canoa are drinking and getting stoned. We took to it like a duck to water. The guys there were culinary geniuses and cooked up a wicked rice crispy space cake, which was enjoyed by all to the comic genius of Spinal Tap. This for us went on for 2 night straight, for the others it was 4. As you can understand this is why there is not much to write about Canoa as there was not much done there and what was done was forgotten.

Quito Photos

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Quito - The most dangerous city we have visited.

Ecuador is quite small compared to some of the other countries in South America but reading the Lonely Planet - Which I have come to treat like a despised necessity by now, their definition of
"a cleanly hostel with friendly staff in this beautiful building restored to it´s former glory"
is very different to mine, when we turned up at the hostel that this was describing we thought it was a bit of a shit hole, the staff were ok but the owner was a knob and the building was half brick, some concrete and wood, our room was a hovel.
This was back in central America though and doesn´t have any bearing on this bit of the blog other than to emphasise that I don´t hold much in the descriptions of hostels. What I cannot ignore however is when the book advises us that the capital city of Ecuador that we are heading towards is, in their words "a bit sketchy" and that you need to keep an eye on your belongings when at the bus station, when walking down the road and pretty much all the time day or night. It also advises to take taxis at night as it isn´t safe to walk around, but make sure they are the correct licensed taxi´s or you might get kidnapped and forced to go to cash machines.

This might make the place sound unpleasant and dangerous but really this is common sense in all the cities and most of the small towns we travel to. The poor people are very poor and it is easy for them to resort to petty theft, and as rich tourists (in their eyes, in mine I´m a skint traveller) we make the perfect victim. Most of the places we visit have warnings of this kind, the worst in Mexico as I have mentioned where it´s common for the bus to be hijacked at gunpoint and all the passengers to be robbed of their belonging. The beautiful villages of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala are very cool but we were advised not to take a walk on the road between the places as there are numerous armed robberies.

I have actually heard 3 different stories of armed robberies on the same road there, the locals jump out of the trees with machetes and guns to rob people. Why the police haven´t done anything about it is anyone's guess.

So yeah, Quito. It didn´t really sound much worse than other places. That was until we started to talking to some of the people that stayed in the hostel. Apparently it was common to be mugged just outside the hostel, about 15meters from the front door!! Despite the fact there is a security guard outside. Now Security guards have a way of looking at things that I can´t figure out if I agree or not, actually that's not right, I do disagree with them but I can kind of understand. They will happily do there job and guard the building they are working for, if anyone were to try and break in to the hostel he would be there to stop them, however it isn´t their jobs to get involved in the mugging that is happening 10ft away. They are working in a city that is reputedly dangerous and the gun laws, if there are any and not adhered to, not to mention everyone owns a machete. Is it worth them risking themselves to help someone who is victim of a mugging?? Not in their eyes at any rate.
There was one fella at the hostel who told us about his ordeal.
As he left the Internet cafe 2 streets away from the hostel with his bag on his shoulder (containing his laptop) he was grabbed in a choke hold from behind whilst 2 men jumped out and went through his pockets, he tried to fight back but was either hit over the head or choked into unconsciousness. He came to moments later having been relieved of his bag, his chap stick(?) and some other items from his pockets but they had neglected to get his wallet? go figure!
There were people walking around, on the same street, there were security guards over the road who had watched it happen. They all were very helpful and told him which way the muggers had run!

Needless to say we were very vigilant with our belongings and stayed in the hostel at night.

The hostel was cool, we met some great people and spent a lot of time watching TV and drinking.
If you manage to find a good hostel it doesn´t matter what goes on outside, we have actually just left Lima, the capital of Peru after 4 nights and we only went out of the hostel once to see the city!
We played on the equator!
The funny thing is there is a massive monument with a small theme park type thing there and a line on the floor running through the whole place, people come from all over the world to visit it as it´s one of the only places along the equator that isn´t up a mountain or in the jungle somewhere. Everyone takes pictures and it´s kind of cheesy but fun.
Then GPS was invented. Oh how they must have laughed when the modern technology that is GPS showed them (not sure who "them" actually is) that the actual equator line is about 200 meters away, just outside their theme park!!
There is another, smaller visitors centre set up here that does little tours and shows experiments and sure enough on one side of the line the sink of water drains clockwise, on the equator line it doesn´t swirl at all and on the other side it goes anticlockwise, that's all the proof I need! Apparently it´s also the easiest place in the world to balance an egg on the head of a nail, something to do with gravitational swirly stuff too.
I bought a bottle of Vodka for $3 one night, we met a couple of people from England and played cards and proceeded to get very drunk, good times.
The hostel had a great plan, make sure all the guests get so drunk that it´s impossible for them to leave! It worked really well, every other night the hostel gave a huge bucket of rum and coke to the guests, 12 litres of the stuff! there were 5 bottles of rum in there! Impossible to stay sober.

Bogota Photos

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Bogota and the Salt Mines (sounds like a Harry Potter book!)

After 30 hours on a bus and we arrived in Bogota. 30 hours you say but why is that? Cartagena is only about 16 hours away, well I will tell you... Another part of Colombia that we had been told was beautiful and really worth going to was Santa Marta. Unfortunattally the town was 5 hours north of Cartagena and a bit too much out of our way. So we got to bus to Bogota only to find the ocean on the wrong side for 5 bloody hours. And where was our first stop yes you have it Bloody Santa Marta. So after the 10 hour detour we were finally on our way to Bogota. Thank god for sleeping tablets.

The scotts Angela and Craig that we met in Cartagena were in the hostel next door. We felt a bit bad cause every time we spoke to them it turns out that they spent a lot more money on things that we both had done, our flight from Colombia was 1/2 the price of theirs, our rooms were cheaper and our bus from Cartagena was too. It wouldn´t have been too bad but they were really focused on their money and missing things out so they could streach out what they had saved, saying that, they had double what we had. We have now devised a philosiphy after meeting them. We (within reason) will not miss out on someting great because of the money it costs and then when the money is gone we will simply go home having great memories (of which our sand bording adventure is a testement to but more on that in another post).

Our main activity in Bogota was the Salt Cathedral I was really looking forward to this after seeing Helen´s amazing photo of it. Just outside Bogota is a massive Salt Mine and for some reason or another (probably available on google) they decided to build a Cathedral inside it. So we set out on a cold and drizzly day to the Mine. We have been really lucky on our days out always having great sunshine apart from gettin home from the volcano bording, again we were lucky the weather was bad outside so we didn´t mind going underground. We waited for our Spanish speaking guide (great) and were looking at a huge cross carved from salt rock for each of the 14 Stations of the Cross. These were pretty cool but once you have seen 6 salt crosses that is about enough. Then we came into the beautifully carved statues, angels and the full nativity scene and a full church it was amazing. It has pews and an alter and everything. I think they use it for special masses sometimes, it would be amazing to see it full and used for the purpose it was made. And incase you are wondering yes we did lick it and it was salty!!!

Our other day out was to the police museum it was really cool. The museum revolves around Pablo Escobar who was a massive Drug barron (kinda the first one) who was so rich that Forbes magazine listed him as the 7th richest man in the world in 1989 now that is rich from drugs. He is responsible for killing 30 judges, 457 police, and other deaths at a rate of 20 each day for 2 months! Now that is a lot of killing. We were shown around the place by a young Army recruit (all boys in Colombia have to do service) he was working in the museum showing people round, he said that he prefered this to what some of the other recruits have to do, namely go out and fight the guerillas in the jungle. I would pick the museum too. He showed all the exhibitions relating to Pablo and told us all about how the US helped to capture and kill him, funny how they help when the drugs are running into their country isn´t it? They also had a huge cashe of arms that was donated to them by Germany after World War 2. I thought that was a bit strange but El Floato liked posing with them.

Cartagena Photos

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"Is this the bus to Cartagena?"

After our amazing trip home from San Blas we headed back to the hostel and had one more day in Panama City to chill. With the words of Cathline Turner (from Romancing the Stone if you don´t know) ringing in my ears I was finally off to Cartagena and Colomnbia. That word had struck fear in me for years and the fact the people with Irish passports weren´t even aloud into the country for a while until about 18 months ago (the story goes that some IRA guys came over and were training the guerillas the government didn´t like that and stopped Irish people from coming into the country). We had heard good thing about Colombia from everyone that we had met so we picked up our gay and decided to go. I rang mum to tell here where we were and before she had time to worry about Colombia I had skillfully distraced her with the afore mentioned Romancing the Stone reference. We said our good byes to the Germans and to Central America and borded our tiny plane. We were hoping to travel to Colombia via boat but it was really expensive and in all honesty we didn´t really look for one. So off we were on the plane.

We arrived in Cartagena and it´s beautiful, we stayed just outside the walled city, which was really cool. We did have out first money mix up though, it is so hard to get your head around a new currency every few weeks. Just as you are getting used to one then you are on to the next one. We went to what we thought was a reasonable priced restaurant and after we paid we (well really Stu, don´t ask me about the money here) realised that we had the exchange rate wrong. Everything was double the price we had thought.( doh that damn taxi ride into town was a rip off to start with and we´d given the guy a tip!!) Oh well as I say it was the first time so I think that was pretty good going.

The next day we went to see this huge fort just down the road from us it was really cool it had different tunnels that were used for escaping in times of war and to get supplies into the fort. You could just imagine it being used, the archers on the turrets and boiling oil being poured down the shoots over the door. They also had the biggest flag I have ever seen. They do love their big flags over here.

I had done some research about Colombia before we left, which is very unlike us, we normally arrive somewhere not knowing anything about the country and just wing it on what we are told by other travellers (and relying on Helen´s blog for tips too) but this time it was different we were going to know what we were doing. I had read about another Volcano that I knew we had to go to. We have decided that the only volcanos that we will go to are ones that have activites on them, bugger just walking up the for walking sake. So we had poking lava with a stick, bording down and now we had a MUD BATH.

There is a volcano outside Cartagena that instead of Lava spues mud, according to the Tayronas, the ancient Indian tribe that once inhabited Colombia's coast, the Totumo volcano once spewed fire from its inner devil's lair; however, the local priest, being quite good at fending off the devil doused the screaming fire with holy water and thus drowning Satan in a pile of thick mud. This myth continues with the origins of the mud, adding that the ancient spirits of the ancestral world heaved forth from the depths of the ground to smother the devil in his unworthy actions. To me it was just a big hole with smelly mud in it. So here we go. The great thing was instead of doing a tour Stu, myself and 2 scotts that we met got a taxi to the volcano so there was only us there thankfully as it is not too big and I have heard of there being up to 20 people in the tours.

So here we go into the mud. It is luke warm and squidgy when you first climb down the ladder and it gets between your toes. I can still feel it now. Immediatly we were grabbed by some Colmbians (hopefully that wasn´t a euphemism that Stu was taking about) to massage us. We got flipped over and rubbed and lay out in the mud. Stu felt a bit uncomfortable so he repetedly asked his guy to stop but he just kepted on rubbin!! So we broke free of our enthustic massures and just lolled round in the mud. It was so weird you just can´t sink I managed to clime up onto Stu but the viscousity was just too much. The only time that someone went under was when Craig threw his girfriend in the air and she got a mouth full of the stuff- nice. Then it was out of the mud and into a slightly less muddy lake to "wash" desperatly holding on to my bottoms as they were so full of mud that they were weighing me down and falling off. Again we had to fend off the enthustic washing ladies at the waters edge. Later I hear someone was told that the lake was described as a christal clear lake, yea right. When you get out of the Volcano you kinda squigy yourself off which sound and looks and sound like cows having a poo and still you are covered. With the amount of mud that I still had on me it would take a jet hose to get it all off this knee deep muddy water. So back into the taxi when we where we were chased by our friendly massures for a tip. No way were were paying to get felt up by Colombians (Stu had that chance in Panama City) so we sped away telling them that we didn´t ask for it.

And that was really all we did in Cartagena, one more volcano story.

San Blas Photos

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San Blas Islands

4.30 am. Panama City. I´m tired obviously, but theres a jeep on it´s way to take us to the Islands so begrudgingly I crawl out of bed and grunt at my fellow travellers.
Dave has decided not to come to San Blas as he has to get through South America and has already changed his flight home on numerous occasions, such is travelling, people come and people go. We say our goodbyes and head off, Gini and I and the Germans.

To say the road was a bit bumpy would be like saying Hitler was a bit unsociable. The 4 wheel drive was definately needed throughout. We spent 3 hours being bounced around in the back of the jeep as it headed accross the country, up hills, down mountains and the best bit was when we actually had to drive through a river, it was like being in a car advert!
We were met when we got off the boat by the guy we would be staying with, he was the brother of someone that worked in the hostel in Panama.

Now San Blas as I have said is a collection of Islands that are reputed to be the best in the whole of Central America, palm trees, white beaches and clear waters, so you can imagine our disapointment when we pulled up in the boat to an island that has a community living on it and no beach!!!
This was however short lived as when we finished breakfast (desayuno) we were taken on a boat by our hosts nephew to another island, and this one nicely met our expectations. It was the smallest island I have ever been on, obout a 10 minute walk would have you all the way around it.
Theres not really much to say about the time we spent their, we snorkelled in the clear water (but no reef so not much to see), sunbathed on the gorgeous beach and swam. The bit that made it even better (coz you know, I wasn´t satisfied!)...(.that was a joke, it was great ) was the fact the driver of the boat came back at midday, we thought to take us back but in fact it was to bring our lunch to us in take away trays, rice and chicken for a change but hey it was good at the time and we didn´t know at the time but the food during our stay was about to get so much better!
So yeah we stayed on the beach for another few hours and were picked up to be taken back to the house.
The homestay gave us the chance to experience life in a Kuna Village, Kuna is the name of the people living on the Islands. It´s not their individual names coz that would be just wierd and confusing,¨Hi Kuna, wheres Kuna?¨ ¨Oh, hi Kuna, I´ve not seen him, have you checked with Kuna?¨ ...you get the point.

Walking around the village was interesting, it was still quite a small island but was home to quite a lot of families, and all of them share similar features, I guess from generations of sharing quite a small gene pool, more like a gene puddle really.
The houses were all made of palm leaves and bamboo, they were little more than shacks, the floors are dirt and the toilet was shared by about 5 houses and was simply a seat in a shelter (4 walls and a door, no roof) that was suspended over the edge of the island. It is quite a strange experience really, takin a crap and watchin as the fish come to see what you are leaving behind!! Oh the toilet adventures when travelling in strange places! It´s not an island to go swimming near I´ll tell you that, and not suprisingly the locals will go out in a boat to do their fishin, well who wants to eat the fish that have been eating peoples poo? I wouldn´t.
It´s a simple life, no running water, not much money, fish that will eat your poo, but everyone seems happy, I imagine there wouldn´t be any sort of crime there, everyone knows who everyone else is and you don´t have anywhere to run to. Not only that, no one has anythin worth nickin!

A week before, when we were on Bocas I had taken Gini out for a posh meal to a fancy restaraunt so she could try Lobster for the first time. I had a massive crab too. The meal had cost us about 20quid (when we were budgeting on about 2quid each for a meal it certainly was a step up. I know you will be reading this and thinkin what a bargain a lobster and crab dinner is for 20 notes. I love it.)

Anyway on San Blas we were paying $25 each per day for food, lodging and transport to the beaches each day. We weren´t expecting much from the food really so we were well chuffed when we found out what the dinner on the first night was, yep, crab and lobster, freshly caught that day. Nice.

Now we were supposed to go to 3 islands on the second day, the first was another fantastic place taken straight from a bounty advert. There was also a wreck just off the beach so we spent quite some time snorkelling around there, we took photos with our underwater camera but they haven´t been developed yet, will put em on soon as. Lunch was delivered at about 12.30, our driver had dropped us off in the morning and gone fishin so it was freshly cooked massive fish with rice and was delicious.

Unfortunately a storm came while we were there. Me n Gini went for a swim as it´s the best place to be in the rain, about 20 minutes later we had to get out as it was so hard the rain actually hurt when it hit you. We holed up in a little house on the island, with the rest of the tourists, there were about 20 people in this small house, with Grandma just swingin in the hammock givin wide mouthed grins to the gringoes. (there were only 2 houses on the island ) and waited for our life to come for us or the rain to stop, niether of which happened for about an hour and a half, then our lift came, it was still raining and we were about an hours ride from our island. We couldn´t wait it out, it would probably rain for the rest of the day so we had to go. Thankfully there was a tarpaulin on the boat so we tried to cover ourselves as best we could but still got a soaking. It was a lot of fun really, the boat was only small and the waves were large, not to the point where I was scared but just enough to make some of the ups and downs exhilerating.
The morning of the 3rd day and it was time to leave and at any time other than the rainy season I imagine that would be where this blog entry finishes, however our journey back to Panama was a far thing from uneventful! Firstly we had to wait for the jeep to come back, our host hads a phone call from him to say he had some Japanese tourists with him who wanted to take a detour so they could get some photo´s, now this guy isn´t really in a position to argue, he gets paid a phenomenal amount of cash compared to Panamanians. He charges $25 per person each way for a 3 hour drive, he can take up to 7 people at a time and probably does the journey at least 4 times a week, dropping off and picking up to take back to Panama. Even if he averages at 4 people each time he´s making $800 per week and only working 24 hours!!!

Anyway, it meant we were hanging around in the rain for about an hour and when I say rain I mean a torrential downpour. After the hour or so your man says he thinks we need to go down the river as the jeep can´t get through to pick us up. At this we though we would nip down the river a bit to somewhere else, it turned out to be about another hour on the boat, covered with tarpaulin again as we very slowly made our way to a new meeting point. We did see a cayman on the way though so it was worth it.

Off the boat and we had to climb up a massive embankment of mud, it was flip flops off and almost knee deep, a couple of older locals had to be carried up it was that bad. Then the jeep had a flñat tyre so we had to wait for the guy to change it, that wasn´t really a problem and only took 10 minutes.

Now I´d love to say that was the end of the ordeal that the journey back had turned into and it would have been if the jeep was a little better, if the tyres were a little bigger or the really massive muddy hill that was really just a big clay slide that had been churned with vehicles going over it in the storm was a little less steep. Unfortunately the jeep didn´t have the tyres and the hill was just too steep. The driver gunned the accelerator and we started our ascent, slowly but surely we climbed the hill.......to about the halfway point, then we stopped. The acellerator was still being gunned and the wheels were a turnin but we were stuck. Back down we rolled (which was a bit scary coz I thought we were going to go over the cliff to one side). We tried a second time with a bigger run at it. No good. I asked the driver if it would be better if we walked up the hill so he had less weight, which he agreed to. So off we trotted in the company of an old bloke that was gettiong a ride too. Flip flops once agin were off as we slipped and slid up the hill. I will also add I wasn´t the chivalrous guy I should have been, it was every man for himself as we went up, I knew if I tried to help Gini I would have slipped on my arse and gone sliding back down again. I did kind of feel bad for a second when I looked around and saw her and the old bloke helpin each other...doh.

The jeep still couldn´t get up the hill. We were stuck in what is essentially a jungle in the heart of Panama, with a road going through it, if you can call this shite sludge a road.
Fortunately there was a banana jeep passing that was much better than our jeep, it climbed the hill with ease makin our car look shit.
The nice blokes in the banana truck had a winch or some rope or somethin and managed to get the jeep up the hill, yey, we were saved. Another silver lining though, when we were waitin we saw some monkeys and got some photos.
Then we finished the drive to Panama City.

Bocas Photos

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